Pretty Lights and Knitting

I love college. Cliche phrase, I know, but it’s oh so true. Life is great right now. I’m growing in the Lord. I love my classes. I have great friends who I absolutely love spending time with. More time for rock climbing would be good, but I can’t complain.

I’m trying to learn to not let my stresses get the best of me. Just one day at a time. It always works out in the end so why do I let the worries in life depress me?

I was watching rock climbing videos while working the dorm desk the other day and came across this pretty cool one that had some good music too. In the end credits I saw a website for the music called Pretty Lights. Turns out its all free to download and there was some decent stuff in there. Yay for free music!

I’ve also started the wonderful art of knitting. My grandma taught me when I was little but I wasn’t very good and gave up quickly. Over break I had her teach me again and now I’ve made 3 scarfs! ha Maybe I’ll get some pictures up soon.

30 by 30

(I actually wrote this mid December on another blog but never got around to updating it to this one. oops!)

I think the most important thing I’ve continued to realize this past semester is how much I have to learn. I’ve also gotten a new perspective on my pride and how I need to fix it. Reading through the Gospels and being reminded of how perfect Jesus is also opens my eyes to the fact that no one is good, not even one. I am no better than anyone else. I think this is something that is especially hard for us who have grown up in a materialistic culture to deal with because the culture is “all about me” focused.
At first I thought it was silly to say I was finding myself. I felt like that was such a teenager stage to be in. It has really become evident to me this semester that we are definitely working on finding ourselves, all of us. College students are known for having outlandish dreams. I love it. Everywhere I go on campus I hear people talking about big ideas and goals they have in life.
The sad thing is, a lot of our elders say it’s just a phase. I can’t count how many times I’ve talked about some big dream I have and gotten some crazy a look from someone older than myself. So what is possible and a reality… and what is just a phase I’m going through? What will I choose to chase after and make a reality? And most importantly, will it be for the Lord?
In this all about me culture, it also affects our goals. I recently started a 30 by 30 list (30 things to do by the time I am 30 years old). The first thing that went on it was to rock climb “The Nose” on El Cap in Yosemite. The Nose is a 2,400 ft climb that takes an average of 4 days (2 nights sleeping on the side of cliff) and lots of experience. The next thought that ran through my head was this, “Do I want to achieve this for me? Or is it for Lord?” If my motives are just so I can say I did it, I am doing it for the wrong reasons. If I want to tackle this feat so that I can impact people along the way and become closer to Jesus through the journey, then let’s start buying gear. Everything I do in life should be for El Shaddai. I should be pouring Him into my relationships on earth and loving on people as He works through me. I am ready to dream big and allow the Lord to penetrate every part of it.

Something I need to hear

Breathe.
Slow down.
Trust.
Don’t rush.
Patience.
Let go.
Adventure.
Love.
Life.

He loves me and He’s in control. All that matters is Him… despite what others do or say. I was made for relationship, relationship with the El Shaddai. Don’t be afraid to let him be your all, there is nothing better.

“She is the crescendo, the final astonishing work of God. Woman. In one least flourish creation comes to a finish not with Adam, but with Eve. She is the Master’s finishing touch… His piece de resistance. She fills a place in the world nothing and no one else can fill… (Ladies) Look out across the earth and say to yourselves, “The whole, vast world is incomplete without me. Creation reached its zenith in me.”

And she, too, bears the image of God but in a way that only the feminine can speak. What can we learn from her? God wanted to reveal something about Himself, so he gave us Eve… Eve is created because things were not right without her. Something was not good. …Something is missing? What could it possibly be? Eve. Woman. Femininity. Wow. Talk about significance.”
- from Captivating by John and Stasi Eldridge

Life is a first grade boy throwing rocks and sticking his tongue out, daring me to punch him the face

Got this from a girl I follow on blogger. I love it.

pesky little thing, this life.

you think he likes you and then someone points out the “kick me” sign he taped to your back, or you get up from your desk to go to lunch and you find double-bubble gum stuck to your toosh.

and after crying (of course) you wonder if you have the girl-power to push him down on the playground in front of all of his friends.

…but you do not.

because secretly, deep down inside that little heart of yours, past the fear of cooties and rejection, you still have a huge crush on life.

so, even though life continues to poke and tease and push and pinch, you’ll shrug your shoulders and flip your hair and keep your undisclosed, annoyed thoughts to yourself

because you know that life is just going through a phase and, in the days to come, life can only get better.

…and more attractive.

Coffee Shop and Thoughts

hhhmmm… well today was a pretty good day. Went to work this morning. The day went by pretty fast. Once I got home my parents and I went to see a movie. It was nice to get to see a movie with just mom and dad and no one else. That doesn’t happen very often. I’m now at a coffee shop in springfield where Blackbird by the Beatles is playing over the speakers. How I miss this town when I’m in Searcy!!! Drink for tonight: Virgin Mudslide: pure white chocolate and irish cream

So lately I have had a TON of blog topic ideas. Just things that I think about a lot or just have some burning opinion on. I was going to try and pick one and really expand on it…. buuuut I have found that when it comes to blogging/writing I often get frustrated because I feel like I can’t properly express what I’m feeling/thinking. So instead, I think I might just “lightly” hit each subject

Oh, and the music has changed, it’s now You and You’re Heart by Jack Johnson haha just thought I’d fill you in

Topic #1 : Helpless Romantic

While my ex-boyfriends (especially Joey) would probably disagree, I have come to the conclusion that I am a helpless romantic. (btw… I say Joey would disagree because in his opinion I make decisions in my relationship based mostly on my mind, not my heart unlike himself…) Aaaaanyway, I think I would be a mild case of a helpless romantic but then again… every girl is to some extent. It’s a struggle to remember that my Lord is the one who completes me and who loves me beyond all else… not my ideal future husband…. the poor man.

The song has changed again…. I had to look this one up to know what it was haha The First Day of my Life by Bright Eyes

Topic #2: Skin

My sisters, their friends & mine, and just about every other woman and girl in the United States shows too much of it (myself included at times). It has never bothered me so though as when I see my two sisters walk out the door to go to the movies with boys with short shorts and tank tops on like they did tonight. I know it’s the mother in me… so I don’t say anything. But I just wanna get down on my knees and beg. “Do you not see?! Do you not understand what message you are sending!? I know you, you’re not like that… you’re giving out the wrong message. You are causing others to sin. You are allowing yourself fall into a trap that secretly begins to make you believe that all you are is what you look like. You wonder dear sisters why your self-esteem is so low? Realize that the kind of boy you want would not desire for you to dress like that! It breaks my heart.”

… I was too into that last one, I have no idea what music was playing

Topic #3: Analysis of Self: Motherly and Deep and Big Thinker

The last topic leads me nicely into this one! Motherly, yes I am. Lately I have wondered if it is the Lord’s will for me to be single (despite all my helpless romanticness). But this characteristics seems to finish of the idea. I am motherly beyond control, it must be the Lord’s will for me to have children. ha! …. Deep and Big Thinker. I don’t really know what all to say about this one. There was a woman who told me I was this last night at my family’s BBQ. Despite all my seriousness and my many deep thoughts and opinions… I am still a dreamer (aka big thinker). It can’t be good for me haha because I only end up arguing with myself like a mad woman over the practical and the out to save the world and have adventure mumbo jumbo. teehee

Song: Push by Matchbox 20

Topic #4: Analysis of my troubled sister

For those who know me well, they know which one I’m talking about. I love her very much, but we can not get along. I know it takes two to fight and I will not deny that I am also to blame for the bad relationship. I think my mother would be annoyed if she heard me call her “my troubled sister”. It’s not like she has a problem such a drugs or something rebelliously crazy. She’s just… troubled. Which may seem to you like every other teenage girl. But despite the many who have told me I’m wrong… I’ve come to the conclusion that as Christians we/they (even though I’m 20, I very much still feel like a teenager sometimes) should not have to be the average troubled teen. Not saying they won’t struggle, but we have Jesus… so shouldn’t things be different in every stage of life? Not just adulthood. If you’ve made it this far… first of all I’m impressed and secondly, please tell me your opinion on the “average american teenager” and the christian life.

I can’t hear the music anymore There’s a load group in here chatting. Bummer, I was having fun doing updates on music!

Topic #5: Wisdom

My momma and I listened to this sermon a few days ago on the subject. It was by Ben Stuart and it was titled “Who is Wise?”. It was reeaaaally good. Wisdom is more than knowledge. Simple concept… even obvious, but it blew me away. Wisdom is not only know what things are, but know how they work and how to use that information to do something about it. Perhaps a better way (or just a synonym) to describe wisdom would be insight. Wisdom isn’t shown by what we say, but what we do, day by day deeds and works. James 3:13-18. How do you know you are wise? HUMILITY. The wise person in proverbs is the one who knows they don’t know everything. Wisdom takes God into account… “the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom”.  Godly wisdom is pure, peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial, and sincere. Wisdom is taking your gifts and helping other to flourish.

“If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.”

-James 5:1

Alright, those are all my topics. haha Time to go rock climbing!!!

Love,

Katie K

If I’m completely honest with myself

I don’t really miss you. At first, it seems and sure feels like it is you that I miss. But in all reality I just miss having someone. Someone to hold me and allow me to feel secure.
Someone to talk to. Someone to stand by me.
I miss all the things that anyone else could miss about anyone in the world.
Sure you have certain quirks that I like about you, but I have those for quite a few people in this world.
So when the day comes that I miss you for you and not just because I want someone to hold me, then I’ll know you’re the one.
When no one else will do…
That’s when I’ll miss you.
That’s when I’ll love you.

My Sister

So, I have this sister.
A beautiful creature.
She’s funny and has a big heart.
Smarter and more courageous than she knows.
But she’s broken…
very broken.
Broken by the world.
Not that she has had to endure more than any other teenage girl, but Satan has it out for her lately. And it breaks my heart, because she doesn’t see it. Satan takes his foothold without her acknowledgment. She fights, but she fights against herself, family, and the Lord… not the evil one.
When I am away from her I have nothing but compassion, my heart aches for her. The tears on my face will tell you that I would like for nothing more for her to see how beautiful life is. How beautiful SHE is. How BEAUUUTIFUL THE LORD IS! Most of all, for her to have an unbreakable, thirsting, relationship with the Lord.
But when I am with her, Satan gets the best of me too. My patience dwindles. My compassion evaporates as she presses every button she knows how to. Voices raise too quickly and end in silent anger.
We are at war, only some do not see it. How dangerous to be in a war and not realize it?! Only, it’s not with each other! But with the devil.

“We were born into a world at war. This scene we’re living in is no sitcom; it’s bloody battle. Haven’t you noticed with what deadly accuracy the wound was given? Those blows you’ve taken – they were not random accidents at all. They hit dead center… It was an attempt to take you out; to cripple or destroy your strength and get you out of the action.” – John Eldridge
So behind all the teenage attitude and “big girl wisdom”… I know the little girl is in there. Let her reach out and ask for help?

Please? Let yourself be vulnerable, to the one that matters. To your creator, father, Lord, savior, friend, and healer. I love you.

Come consume me, Jesus

Father God, you are so good, so beautiful, so just, so glorious. Thank you Abba for loving us, for being so merciful. Nature declares your power and might. You are all that matters. Dear Lord, I’m sorry. My pride blinds me. Forgive me, Hessed! I am selfish and undeserving. The christian martyrs I read of had so much love and forgiveness for their persecutors! And here I am, struggling to give the same response to my loving family, bosses, and co-workers who do MUCH less to me. I am so weak. So unclean. I am sorry Jesus, I’m sorry. Teach me to love. Show me what it means to have patience and be self-controlled… to be gentle and kind but at the same the time bold and courageous. Give me your eyes dear Lord, allow me to love deeper. Strengthen my faith, strengthen my feeble frame. Show me the way, give me the words. Speak through me. I want to trust you Father. For you alone are worthy of being trusted! Your love is deeper than any other. Fill me, Holy Spirit, until I am over flowing, I want others to see YOU when they look at me. Any success I have is because of you. All I have is yours Yahweh! Mold me and make me. Humble me and teach me. Heal me, Rapha, for this world rips at me and leaves me broken and tattered. I need you, I want you. Come dwell in me, Jesus! It is in your name that I pray. Amen

Not a Drop To Drink

Photo By Nicole Jean Tinneny

Adventures with my Lord and Savior

These past couple weeks have been so hectic in the preparation for the end of the year. Right now, I sit in a practically empty dorm room. Tomorrow my freshman year will officially be over after my 8 o’clock final. Crazy. I need a vacation. ha Freshman year was not what I expected. Extreme loneliness. Tough classes. Heartless people. Good and bad relationships. A broken heart and pride. Self-esteem struggles. I’ve taken the road less traveled at Harding University and it’s taught me much. I am better because of these struggles. The tears have made me stronger. When first looking back on this year I had a moment of heartbreak because it seemed at first glance like a complete waste. Yes, I’ve made friendships and had many fun times… but I could have had so many more. Did I waste my freshman year because of shyness and self-esteem issues? Not at all. The struggles I experienced were REAL. They taught me something. However, from here on out living life to the fullest will have a new meaning. There are people to meet. Mountains to climb. Adventures with my Lord and Savior. The Lord has great plans for me. And I’m excited to experience them.